Dear Ed/Script
akin to a flying saucer swoops over the grass. The camera zooms out, and we see that it is Edd, using a metal detector. Eddy: a ride from Ed "Whoa, where's the fire, flathead?" Ed: "Fire? AAAAH!" takes off. Eddy: "No, Ed!" Ed: "I am melting, Eddy!" Eddy: "Ed! Aah!" Edd: a signal from his metal detector "Oh, my, the detector has detected something!" Ed: "I can't see, too much smoke!" Edd: "STOP!" stops just short of the detector. Eddy's face rams into the back of Ed's head. Eddy: dazed "Granddad, you ran another stop sign." Edd: on the grass "I've marked the exact position of where to excavate." Ed: "Double D's legs are gone." Eddy: "No, Ed, he wants you to dig. Ready, Elephant Boy?" Edd: "Oh my." Ed: "Arf!" digs like a dog, tossing up dirt haphazardly. Eddy: "You're an animal, Ed. I bet it's a new car! Or a buried bank heist!" Edd: disgusted "My Ed, your talents are...endless, aren't they?" Ed: "I see something shiny, guys!" Eddy: "Jackpot! Let 'er rip!" reels in a long silver wire. Eddy: "Finders keepers!" of the lampposts lining the cul-de-sac are sucked into the ground. "Go Ed go!" rest of the lampposts disappear. Edd: "I think I'm gonna be sick." walks by, carrying Plank. Eddy: "Is that Jimmy? And Plank?" ---- walks up to a house, Plank dangling from his hand. Eddy suddenly appears in front of Jimmy. Eddy: "Hiya, Jimmy boy!" Jimmy: fearful "Eddy!" Eddy: "Whatcha doin with Plank, huh? Did you steal it from Jonny? Did you? Huh?" Jimmy: the ground, scared "Jonny and Plank had a horrible tiff! Jonny walked off in a huff! Abandoned, Plank was helpless! I offered the hunk of wood a home!" Edd: "Oh dear! Jonny alone? Think of the pain! Separated from his best friend. Isolated. Fortunately, I am surrounded by friends who respect the feel–" irritated, jams Ed's head into Edd's mouth. Eddy: "Can it, Sockhead, we're wasting time." gleeful "Jonny is defenseless." Ed: still stuck in Edd's mouth "Are you going to finish that cupcake, Double D?" ---- morose, is sitting in the playground's sandbox. He has scratched out Plank's form in the sand and is completing the facial features. Suddenly, Ed tromps up and sits down opposite Jonny. Jonny: "Boy, Ed, am I happy to see you! Wanna make a sand castle?" Ed: "Sit down and say hello, Jonny." Jonny: "Hello?" Ed: "Ask him how he is!" Jonny: "Huh?" Ed: "Um. Wait." Edd: words on a cue card "How are you how are you!" Ed: "I'm fine. Well okay, a little hungry." looks behind him, but Edd and Eddy duck in time not to be caught by him. Ed: a card when Jonny turns back to him "Feeling alone?" Jonny: "Alone?" Ed: "No one to–" moves his head into Ed's line of sight, and Ed has to shift to read the card "–ha-have one-si-sided conver–" shifts again "–ver-versations with?" Jonny: his tears start to flow "You read me like a map, Ed. Am I that obvious?" Ed: "Um, excuse me, Jonny." pushes Jonny out of the way to better read the cards. "Meet a new friend. At Ed's Friend Store. And take Jonny there. Oh yeah." grabs Jonny to take him away. Jonny: "Friend store?" ---- finishes painting a face on a trashcan lid. Eddy: "Hmm. What's Jonny see in this stuff, anyway?" Edd: "Well Eddy, Jonny's need to communicate with an inanimate object is quite normal, sometimes stemming from a lack of self-confidence or social phobias." Eddy: "What is he?" Ed: "Jonny's here!" plunks Jonny down next to the table. "Do I get that cookie now?" Eddy: "Jonny boy! You look like you need a new friend. At Ed's Friend Store, your new friend is carefully chosen by our master matchmaker, buddy Double D! One lousy quarter, and we'll set you up with your ideal pal." Jonny: "I think I'll pay...after I'm happy with my ideal pal." Eddy: "What's with that?" Edd: "Jonny, after an extensive screening process, I've found your perfect match." out a traffic cone "Bob, Jonny. Jonny, Bob." gasps and retches. Bob only has one eye. Eddy: "Whoops! Forgot the other eye." paints the right eye on. Jonny: his eyes "Hello Bob." Bob: Jonny: "I like the shape of your head too." Eddy: "Well whaddya know! You're happy, I'm happy. Cough up the dough." Edd: "Eddy! Jonny shouldn't rush into a new relationship. They need to get better acquainted. This way please." Eddy: annoyed "C'mon, I'm trying to run a business here! Work with me!" Ed: up Eddy and tucking him under his arm "Eddy is my ideal pal. Soft and cuddly like mashed potatoes. Yum." ---- is having a tea party with Plank. There is a great silence in the room, broken only by the ticking of the clock. Jimmy shifts his chair forward awkwardly. Jimmy: "Pardon, did you say something?" reply comes, and Jimmy tugs at his shirt nervously. The party is NOT going well. ---- and Jonny are about to play ping-pong. Jonny bounces the ball off his paddle a few times. Jonny: down his paddle "Planet?" Bob: Jonny: "My head's not that big." Bob: Jonny: "My mama what? Oh, hi guys!" is plainly relieved to not have to talk to Bob anymore. carries a bench on which his two friends sit to the table so they can watch. Edd: "You'll find ping-pong to be a great icebreaker, Jonny." Ed: "Not to mention a duck." Edd and Eddy: "Huh?" Ed: "What?" Edd: "Um..." Ed: "Who?" Eddy: "Huh?" Ed: "Um." Edd: "Ed." Ed: "Why?" and Eddy look at him oddly and then turn to the game. Eddy: "Okay, Jonny, play ball!" Edd: "Your serve, Jonny." Jonny: "Oh, boy! Plank and I play this all the time!" serves the ball to Bob, and the ball comes screaming back, hitting him dead center in his forehead. Eddy: laughing "Bob spiked it!" Ed: "Wow, Bob's good for a cone." Jonny: embarrassed "Did it leave a mark?" Edd: "Uh–" Jonny: "I don't like Bob." abruptly stops laughing. Eddy: "Uh oh." Edd: "Don't worry, Jonny. All relationships start with a strong foundation." Ed: "I live in a foundation, with all sorts of useless things that Jonny would talk to." Eddy: once more "Saved by the Ed." Ed: "Come, Eddy!" carries Edd, Eddy, and Jonny to his house. ---- tumbles down the stairs that lead to his basement. Jonny: laughing "Ed, you go down the stairs just like Plank!" Ed: open his door "A friend for Jonny we need!" Jonny: "Ed, you gotta like your room!" Edd: "Oh dear, Jonny's in the denial stage." Ed: things out of his closet "I got a friend for you, Jonny! Somewhere." Eddy: to avoid being hit "Ed, you just missed my–" boot lands on Eddy's head like a hat. Ed: "Ahoy!" Eddy: a threat "Wait'll I get my hands on you–!" Edd: "Why Eddy, that's a perfect match for Jonny! Don't you think?" boot does indeed kind of look like it has eyes and a mouth. Eddy: "Really?" the boot on a stool, addressing Jonny "Jonny! Meet Salty Sam." Jonny: "It looks a little crusty." Eddy: "Don't judge a book by its cover, Jonny! It's salty, and it's a boot! Knock yourself out!" and Edd exit. Ed: "Hmm, now what did I come..." trails off. Ed is looking at a picture of himself as a baby. "Aw, look!" Eddy: outside the room "Ed!" Ed: "Huh? Uh, yes Eddy?" tosses the photo into his closet and gravitates towards his friends. Eddy: "Get out here, willya? These two need some quality time." shuts the door on Jonny and Sam. "Did you see the sparkle in Jonny's eyes? Stop me boys, I'm getting frilly!" sounds of a loud, angry tussle come from Ed's room. Ed: "They're having fun!" Jonny: "Stop it Salty!" Eds peek in to find Jonny clutching a pipe on the ceiling. Jonny: "He's mad I tell ya, mad! Oh my." boot is in the same position Eddy left it in. Eddy: "What's with this guy?" Edd: "Jonny needs to pick his own friend." Eddy: his fingers "Bingo!" ---- sign tacked to Eddy's door reads "Cheep Frends For Life Inside!" Music is coming from Eddy's room. Jonny: "Friends for life?" Edd: on the door "Yes indeedy. Ooh, it sounds like the festivities have already begun." door opens, and we hear that the music is pumped incredibly high. Eddy stands just inside the door, dressed in full disco clothing. Edd: over the music "EDDY! THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD! YOU'RE DISRUPTING–" turns the music down "–THE FABRIC OF SUBURBAN LIVING!" realizes he's the one who is too loud and quickly stops yelling. Eddy: Jonny inside "C'mon, c'mon, lighten up Jonny. This shindig's all for you, Curly! Schmooze on into the party! Check out those cool friends." there are a bunch of inanimate objects with faces painted on them against one of the walls. Jonny: "They're all staring at me!" Eddy: "With a head like yours, I'd stare too. Just follow Ed and Double D. They'll get this place a'cooking!" his friends in hushed tones "Quit standing around! Get out there! Dance with something! Break the ice!" Edd: "This is not my strong suit." Ed: "I'm the ice-cream man." Eddy: Edd forward "Move, Double D!" Edd: "Stop! No! Please!" Eddy: him one last shove "Do it for Jonny." Ed: with a plant "What lovely leaves you have!" pulls them out. "Oh, it's a wig. Sorry." Eddy: "Thataboy, Monobrow!" Jonny "Ed's got a new friend." Jonny: filling with tears "I...miss...Plank." Edd: "Dancing with a vase. Boy have I reached an all-time low." slinks over to the side with the friends, depressed. Jonny: "Would you, um uh, like to, uh uh, d-d-dance? With me?" ski stares back at him in silence. Jonny: "Oh, okay. What?" stares at some different objects. "Who are you? Dance? No, I thought–oh, no, I like you too! Oooh!" room wavers in front of him. "Too many friends!" gaze falls on a chair with a face painted on it. Eddy: Jonny away from the door as he tries to leave "Hey there, party pooper! C'mon, relax! Take a load off those sandals." places Jonny in the chair. "The party's just starting!" kicks the door open on top of Eddy. Kevin: "Check it out, Rolf!" and Rolf enter. Nazz: "Cool party. Check out the snacks." joins in. Sarah: "Party?" in "Jimmy! Party!" runs in to celebrate. Eddy: trying to lift the door off of him "Granddad?" stomps on the door, pushing Eddy back down. Jimmy: "Someone point me to the DJ!" Rolf: dancing "Time for Rolf to show off his boo-ga-loo. Ya!" Sarah: '''"Whee!" '''Jimmy: "Let's bust a move, Sarah! Whee!" tosses Plank away. Plank lands on one of the chairs leaned against the wall. Jonny: "Plank?" Plank: Eddy: about something "Kevin! No! No!" Kevin: at some records "What is this stuff? Ha! So lame." tosses one away. Eddy: "My records!" dives for the tossed record, but the vinyl hits the floor and shatters before he can catch it. "That's it! I want all of you–" Ed: a record "Hello, can I have this dance?" Eddy: "Wait!" grabs him. Rolf: with Eddy "Come! Boogaloo with Rolf! Show me where your mama lives! Ah, fresh. Try this one, Eddy! Boo! Ga! Loo!" performs a complicated dance move which ends up with Eddy's head stuck in the ceiling. Ed: full of friends "Swingin!" moves past the chairs, and Plank and Jonny each move one space closer. Rolf: the head of a conga line "Hang on tight! Cha cha cha!" Kevin: "Whoa! You're a machine!" Jimmy: "I've got goosebumps, Sarah!" the line passes, Jonny and Plank are sitting next to one another. Plank: Jonny: "I'm sorry too, Plank. Let's go home." Eddy: to Edd "It's out of control!" Edd: "Don't cut in, Eddy, it's rude." grabs the vase Edd was dancing with. Ed: "Next! Get on board the Ed train!" arms are completely filled with the friends. Eddy: "Ed!" steps on a rolling pin he dropped. Ed: "Call a doctor!" Edd and Eddy: the stuff falls "Not cool not cool!" ---- disaster is over, and Eddy pushes his way to the top of the pile of destroyed stuff. Eddy: "Outta my room! Out, out, out!" Rolf: leaving "I was born to be wild, but the cage was too small." Kevin: Rolf "It was a dorkfest." Nazz: "I actually started to sweat. Me!" Eddy: as Sarah blows a raspberry at him "Outta here." Edd: happy "Well, Jonny found his friend." Eddy: "No way!" Edd: pointing "Look Eddy." is walking off, Plank cradled in his arm. Eddy: "Hey, Jonny! But, but...gimme my quarter!" coming from his room catches Eddy's ear. Jimmy: dancing "Do-weet do-weet! Everybody's doing it! Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!" does the worm as the song gets into its groove. Jimmy: "Do-weet do-weet! Do-weet do-weet! Do-weet do-weet!" growls. Edd: "Excuse me, Eddy. This is my song." joins Ed and Jimmy on the dance floor. Eddy: with the flow "If you can't beat 'em, show off!" puts on sunglasses and joins the trio in the middle of his bedroom. Eddy: "Let's mumbo!" dancing "Oot oot! Oot oot! Oot! Oot!" four dance happily until Ed, getting a little too gracious with his hips, bashes the others away. Ed: the melody "In syncopated style!" Eddy: "Ed!" Category:Scripts Category:Season 2 Category:Season 2 Scripts